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So, you’ve booked your flights. You’re excited to watch the clouds float by underneath you from the comfort of a window seat, beverage glass in hand. Now you just have to go and board the plane, right?

Wrong! That was just the start of the annoyingly elaborate ritual that is flying. Getting onto the plane involves proving you are worthy of flight, that you have prepared and are willing to sacrifice for it (Ask me how may tubes of sunscreen I’ve lost at security). This guide will give you the knowledge, the determination, the sheer bloody minded will to get on your first flight. Or you know, hopefully amused you for 10 mins.

Check – in

Checking in online is now a thing with every airline. It’s a second chance to spend a bit more money on luxuries like not getting the middle seat (or if you got the lowest fare tier, just selecting any seat!). If you’re travelling by LCC this is where you get to buy a cold sandwich or cup noodles at 4 times the marked price. FSCs let you chose from a wide variety of 3 dishes but they’ll be hot at least. (Usually)

You then have to agree to a few safety instructions like not getting poisons, illegal animals and poisonous illegal animals on the plane. COVID has added in the step of confirming your address at you destination, with Pin code, which is always a pain to remember. Finally, you get a boarding pass by SMS, email or to download and print. You will inevitably lose this and stress out, but it’s all part of the process. (And find it 3 months later at the bottom of your backpack.)

While on-line check-ins used to be optional, they are now the norm on most airlines, especially with LCCs. Indigo and Spicejet don’t do check-ins at the counters any more at most major airports. Instead you deal with automated little kiosks, that will most likely be manned by an airline employee anyways. Indigo at one point even tried to charge people for in person check-ins. (Not sure if that’s still a thing.)

Packing for the flight

Packing for a flight is part science, part art and, on the whole, annoying. There are multiple factors you need to consider in order to avoid a lot of headaches later:

  • Are you carrying anything flammable, poisonous, radioactive, illegal or explosive. If you are then stop it! Didn’t you read the disclaimer during check-in?
  • There are two kinds of bags to deal with carry-on which you actually carry onto the plane with you. And checked bags which are put in the cargo hold of the aircraft.
  • Carry-on are what you take with you on the plane, usually restricted to a small suitcase or backpack. And maybe a handbag. The usual weight restriction for these is around 7kg in economy.
  • Size is also considered since you’ll have to cram this into the plane’s overhead storage which if you board late will already be stuffed full.
  • If you board early you will get the space but will then get to sit and watch some idiot ram his overweight suitcase into yours, cause he clearly isn’t a believer in the laws of physics and sees space where there isn’t any.
  • You can also just keep your bag under the seat in front of you, but given the amount of space that’s usually available your feet won’t thank you for it. It is temporary though as you will quickly lose feeling below the knee.
  • Checked in bags are where you put most of your stuff, since this usually has a much higher weight limit that carry on. The only things you don’t put here are electronics with batteries, since they can be a fire risk. When in a big enclosed tub, fire worse than usually especially when it’s not easily reachable to fight you see.
  • All items that are pokey, pointy or stabby go in check-in. Same with anything that can be used as a weapon (Reasonably, they aren’t banning pens just cause people in movies kill with them.)
  • Any liquid in a tube or bottle that’s more than a 100 ml goes into check in as well. How strict they are about the size depends on the discretion of CRPF guard you get, but take 100 ml as a hard limit. (Like seriously, I’ve lost so much…Sobs in a corner)
  • Airlines (Usually when flying international) may also allow multiple bags with frankly crazy weight limits that can go as high as 65 Kg in economy itself. And progressively more in higher classes.
  • Domestic fliers unfortunately get 15 Kg in economy. Usually, airlines will allow a few grams over cause it’s just not worth fighting over. But over a kg above the limit and you’ll be very politely asked to cough up a stupid amount of money per Kg.
  • One embarrassing way around this is to wear as much as you can since they only weigh the bags and not you. I’ve had a few unfortunate experiences with this, walking through Delhi airport in 35-degree heat wearing two thing woollen women’s coats. You will get laughed at and almost pass out due to heat stroke but think of the money saved!!

Documents

Just a friendly reminder that you ain’t getting onto your flight without the proper documents. Keep these within easy reach to ensure you aren’t left awkwardly fumbling for them while some poor soul behind you is stuck behind you, late for a flight or desperate to run to the bathroom. You don’t want that kind of bad karma.

To enter the airport, you will need the following:

  • Tickets / Boarding passes: To show that you are actually flying out that day, from the correct airport.
  • Aadhaar/ Driver’s License/ Voter ID: For domestic flights any government issued ID with your name and photo on it. It’s so that airport security can check if you are really who the ticket you’re holding says you are
  • Passport: For international flights this is the only ID proof they accept. Not like you can fly international with out it.

Congratulations. You can now get into the airport. If you’re flying domestic, you’re pretty much good to go.

If you’re flying international though it’s a different story. You’ll have to prove to both the airline check-in agent and Immigration that you won’t turn into a ‘Diplomatic Incident’ later. (i.e. do something stupid/illegal abroad and turn into an embarrassing headache for everyone involved.) Here is a small and not even close to complete list of what you’ll need:

  • Passport: Obviously, you won’t make it this far without it.
  • Visa: If the country you’re travelling to needs you to have a visa (If you’re an Indian national most countries need you to get a visa. It sucks.)
  • Return tickets: Mainly to prove that you won’t overstay your welcome abroad. Airlines care about this cause they’re on the hook to get you back home if the country you’re going to refuses to let you enter. Immigration agents care about this cause it’s literally their job to.
  • Proof of stay: Proof that you’ll actually have some place to stay. Being homeless abroad isn’t a good look.
  • Proof of funds: Money, Cash, the Hard Currency you know? Proof that you won’t be broke the second you land. It’s also proof that you aren’t going to hunt for a job on a tourist visa there.
  • Medical declaration: Some countries still need this. COVID really is the gift that keeps on giving.

Getting to the airport

So, you’re ready with your documents (Seriously, can’t stress this enough. Check your docs) and excited to head to the airport. This experience varies from city to city.

Some cities (Like Delhi) have the airport relatively close to the city center with good metro, bus and taxi connectivity. Other cities (Like Bangalore) don’t have an airport. A nearby town has the world class airport. While public transport does exist, trains are not frequent (3 times a day. What is the point even?), buses take ages (You’ll have to leave half a day earlier) and cabs can be expensive (More than the cost of the flight levels of expensive). Your mileage may vary.

There is also the option of guilting, bribing, bullying or begging a friend, relative, colleague or passing acquaintance to drive you to the airport. While this is the cheapest option, for you at least, be aware that a lot of airport express ways are tolled. Parking fees at airports are detached from reality as well.

Most check-in counters close 30-45 minutes before departure but it’s recommended to be at the airport at least 2 hours earlier for a domestic flight and 3 hours earlier for an international flight. Given the kinds of crazy rush a lot of airports see these days it could still be tight.

I believe the philosophy is called hurry up and wait.

Baggage Drop and Check in

Once you’ve shown your Tickets, ID and face at the door and entered the airport, the first thing to do is to drop off your bags. While this may differ a bit between airline to airline it usually just involves finding your airline’s counter and standing in the correct queue. This can be as simple or complicated as the airline chooses to make it. From just a simple single queue to an absolute mess of queues based on travelling class, airline status, airline alliance class status and what not. Whether the queues are maintained and regulated also varies between airlines and even airports. Some follow it strictly, some tend to be more selective (Meaning business class queues are regulated and not much else) others leave it up to the hands of fate which goes as well as expected.

While most airports have their security for checked bags after you check them in, a few smaller airports may do it before you give your bags. You’ll basically be lead to a scanner where an airline employee will pass your bag through before sealing your bag (usually with a little sticker on the zippers. The check-in agent won’t accept the bag without this). I actually like this system as it lets you deal with the rare issue right there, but the system is slowwww and only used at smaller airports.

At the counter your luggage will be weighed and you’ll be given a disclaimer about no batteries and dry coconuts (a fire hazard apparently) in your check in bags. If all goes well, you’ll tearfully watch your suitcase ride along a conveyor belt into the bowels of the airport, starting it’s own little adventure without you. Assuming both the bag and your pass security of course.

A note about connecting flights (Meaning you travel to some place in-between may have to change planes.), if your luggage will be forwarded by the airline you’ll normally get 2 boarding passes. One for each leg of the journey. (Keep em safe!)

Security

For both you and your bags this is where what you packed is checked. The general protocol here is:

  • Your checked-in bags are usually screened automatically at most airports. They even alert you if there’s any issue with your bag and call you to a security booth to sort the issue out. (Or you find out the hard way when you arrive at your destination and your bag doesn’t.)
  • It’s a manual effort for you and your carry on luggage, after scanning in your boarding pass you’ll have to wait in a queue (Hope you really like waiting in queues) till you reach the screening area.
  • You’ll be given trays to keep your electronics, wallet, belt, jacket and shoes if they’re the heavy leather variety. The process can be quick and efficient to the full on chaotic bus station depending on the airport, time of day, time of year and location of mars (The Roman God of getting into yelling matches with your fellow passengers).
  • Make sure you have no metallic items when going to the CRPF guard, they will keep sending you back until they’re satisfied otherwise. The only thing you should have with you is your boarding pass. (With some airports not even that, especially ones that have started using the whole digiyatra system, but that’s a rant for another day.)
  • If all goes you should be able to come out the other, pack your bag and just carry on to the gate and carry on.
  • If all does not go well, you can watch your bag go to another CRPF official for further inspection. This usually involves opening the bag and showing whatever item was deemed to be suspicious.
  • If it’s deemed too pointy, pokey or dangerous in other ways you can watch said item go straight into a trash can. Same with any bottle or tube that’s more than a 100ml. Straight trash.

Conclusion

Congratulations, you’ve now completed the most stressful part of the experience, actually getting to the boarding gate at the airport. Maybe you finished all the formalities quick and now have a lot of time to kill, maybe they’re already calling your name and saying you have 15 seconds to reach your gate before the plane leaves without you. Either way, that’s for part 3.

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