Let’s get one thing straight. This isn’t a guide to what to do in Goa. There are multiple resources both local and international that provide info on what to do and how to see the ‘Real Goa’, ‘the True Goa’, ‘Craziest party ever Goa’ and countless others that range the spectrum from Helpful to Cringe to downright illegal. This is more my take on ever popular planning a Goa trip and the black art of actually getting there, from personal experience of course.
Let’s start off with the four broad kinds of trips I’ve gone on when visiting Goa. While this isn’t all inclusive, it’s just what I’ve seen and experienced while visiting the state. The basic kind of trips I would classify would be:
The College Trip
This was a highly unlikely trip. The planning for this trip was spread over my four years of college, primarily during class and group study sessions, and it most ended with that. The plan always has dinner at shacks, partying on the beach till 4 AM and then dragging your self back to your fancy beach side villa with pool to get 2 hours of sleep before going to see the sunrise (Goa is on the west coast so you can’t actually see the sun rise over the ocean.). It’s all possible cause dil chata hai no?
When the trip finally happened it was spontaneous and totally NOT according to what was planned. It was somehow both dirt cheap and surprisingly more expensive than expected, a basic law of economics most college kids must deal with. The timing wasn’t great. It was the end of my final year of Engineering, and everyone was busy and frustrated with internships and project submissions. Someone’s random desperate suggestion actually stuck this time.
The option of flying or even driving was floated but hard reality popped that fantasy bubble pretty quick. We were a bunch of college kids, high on ambition but low on cash. Winning the lottery was an option but would take too long. Fortune favours the bold, but the plan was to leave in 3 days. A sudden inheritance seemed unlikely. Even becoming a wage slave to earn the amount necessary was some time away. So, it’s either bus or train due to, let’s politely call it, financial constraints.
The train offered consistency, economy and the ability to actually sit facing each other as well as basic movement. You get what you pay for with the railways. A sleeper class ticket offers great views (at least to everyone who could bully their way to a window seat), a place to sleep, a squeaky fan and at least one working toilet. The Air-Conditioned classes offer a reminder that you can’t afford such luxuries in college. The standard seating coaches offer a glimpse into our glorious past and the unfortunate realities of people who either didn’t have the means or the opportunity to get away from said glorious past travel options. Sleeper suited us best, but we had to get tickets first, which for a journey that’s 3 days away, would require luck on par with winning the lottery. Or as the railways calls it Tatkal.
If going by bus was the chosen or, in fact, only option, the issue was that the quality of bus and time left before the journey are usually inversely proportional. Usually, state run buses are the cheapest but not always the best (Karnataka being thankfully an exception in my experience, all hail KSRTC). Private buses are way more expensive and hit and miss when it comes to punctuality, comfort and general approach to actually reaching the destination in one piece. Buses are also uncomfortable and, if the group is mad or desperate enough to opt for the super deluxe video bus (I don’t know why this is still a thing.), extremely loud. The whole range is available from a shiny multi-axle Volvo coach to an old truck wearing a bus costume. Getting a good night’s sleep on a bus is a myth handed down from generation to generation. (People who actually do manage to fall asleep in buses have most likely sold their soul for the ability and have a special place in hell awaiting them).
Stay options were, keeping with the general theme, limited. Hotels and resorts are practically out of reach but not desirable anyways. All the old people in the building will stop any ‘legendary’ party with a noise complaint. Lower tier Airbnbs or shady home-stays and apartments recommended by friends was our best bet. Here you can party for a few hours at least before the noise complaint. Some may even have a shared pool to fall into with your beverage of choice.
Transport within Goa would be on a rented two-wheeler that was probably in good condition about a decade ago. Wobbling along Goa’s curvy and well-maintained roads is an experience unto itself. An added bonus is that any budding couples in the group can be made to sit together for extra awww factor or for a funny story after they wobble a little too hard and fall together.
One of the most annoying factors when deciding all this is whether there are girls in the tour group or not. If yes, then transport, stay, food and even the damn schedule are at least of decent or passable quality. If no, then it’s basically being stuck in a disgusting horror movie of a trip because it’s 3% cheaper. Apparently asking for an accommodation that won’t give you PTSD in a boys only trip is being too pricey.
Regarding our dinning on the trip, Goa offers a wide range of cuisine so obviously, the first place any college group goes to is a KFC, Pizza Hut or if they’re feeling fancy Cafe Coffee day. Exploring the food and drink options in Goa is highly recommended though. Not everything will be to taste, but usually at least one will be mind blowing and mentioning that constantly is required for bragging rights.
We finally ended up going by train (I still don’t fully understand how we managed to get the tickets), coming back by bus, staying in a friend recommended villa and spending most of our time on the beach or on shitty two-wheelers. Goa as a college student will usually be awesome or at the very least memorable. These are memories that will stick with you for the rest of your life, whether you want them to or not.
The Family Trip
This is a trip that happened surprisingly easily. It’s not necessarily the Goa trip one wants but it’s a Goa trip that one gets. What happens on a family trip falls on a spectrum and seems to depend a lot on the level of alcohol consumption expected in Goa.
On one extreme we have the family that goes to Goa just to drink. They usually end up staying at a 5-star hotel or resort and spend most of their time there. The most sightseeing done is in the taxi from and to the airport. An adventurous trek would be walking the odd 100m to the beach from the resort with beverage in hand. This trek can be further extended if there is a shack nearby. Generally, on returning, these families brag about seeing Goa while being surprised that there’s anything more than beaches, booze and maybe the two odd old churches you see in postcards.
The other extreme are teetotaller families that go to see the temples (Yes, there are a lot of beautiful temples in Goa), churches, historical landmarks and natural beauty the state has to offer. These people may have some relatives in or some other ancestral connection to the state though it’s not a requirement. Stay is usually in a temple lodge or cheap hotel, usually not in tourist hot spots and not even necessarily on the coast. This kind of trip can be managed on a budget that would make a college student blush. Generally, on returning, these families brag about the number of religious places they saw as well as maybe a fort or two. They are generally not very fond of ‘wasting’ time on beaches and are appalled that alcohol is readily available in the state.
My family visits to Goa fall in the latter category. We were there for new year’s weekend, the trip was unbelievably affordable especially given it’s Goa’s most expensive season and we were given a multi-day tour of the state by the local temple priest. It was one of my most interesting trips to the state I’ve ever had as we got to explore like a local away from the usual cliched tourist hot spots. From random river ferries to the best local restaurants it really was a surprisingly fun family trip.
Most families though would fall somewhere in between these two extremes, in a bell curve distribution (Science!), usually with some exploration and some alcohol. Even the type of exploration may vary depending on how athletic the family is, Goa is a great place to explore on bicycle though be prepared for a lot of ups and downs. Most though would probably stick to a rented car or taxi.
Family trips though have a bad tendency to end with anyone over 35 telling everyone about the trip ( The conversation usually involves moral, economic, spiritual and political judgement that make things awkward at the dinner table) and anyone under 35 just mumbling about it only when asked.
The Grown Up Trip
This is a trip that follows the college trip. The whole party scene in Goa has been experienced and as the group gets older tolerance for college style drama usually goes down. Especially given how miserable everyone is as a fully grown working adult.
The agenda for the trip varies from relaxing on the beach the entire time, to continuous unrelenting sightseeing, to trekking along the entire coastline or through the lush western ghats (Especially for adventure clubs since that’s what they’re all about.) A common factor connecting all these types of groups is a mild sense of disappointment at not being able to see and do everything there is to see and do.
The relaxing group will be annoyed at not being able to relax at the various beaches Goa offers, from the chaotic chilling at the crowded beaches of the north to the serene relaxation of the much emptier beaches of the south, there’s always a new place to go and do nothing. (This is aggravated by the fact that there is always at least one annoying misfit in the group who insists on actually exploring and experiencing the place. Or maybe even trek a bit and seeing the natural beauty of the Ghats. These people are considered idiots and usually ignored)
The tourist group will be disappointed because there are only so many places you can see in a long weekend and only so many pictures you can take for Instagram. The need to see everything is all consuming with other trivial requirements like food and sleep coming a distant second. Armed with Google maps and a camera these people are out to document every single beach, house and annoyed local the state has. The biggest obstacle they face are having only 24 hours in a day. (This is aggravated by the fact that there is always at least one annoying misfit in the group who insists on relaxing and taking it all in. Or maybe even trek a bit and seeing the natural beauty of the Ghats, instead of another building. These people are considered idiots and usually ignored.)
The adventure group knows what they want. They want to be cold, wet, exhausted and dealing with at least three leaches at a time. They are usually found dragging themselves across the coast or walking along the railway tracks to the Dudhsagar waterfall. Most will have wobbly legs from walking on sand or from the unnatural stride you are forced take when walking on the railway sleepers. They’ll insist they’re having the time of their lives while looking ready to stab you in the eye for not sharing their passion for being cold and miserable. (This is aggravated by the fact that there is always at least one annoying misfit in the group who insists on relaxing and taking it all in. Or maybe actually exploring and experiencing the place. These people are considered idiots and usually ignored.)
I’ve at some point or the other being a part of all three. (OK, not so much the adventure group but I usually end up walking a lot. That counts.) I’ve also been the annoying misfit who was ignored.
Transport for these kinds of groups range from flying in on a business class ticket to walking in from a neighbouring state (People actually do this.). Driving is also a viable option, especially given Goa’s brilliant roads though the ghat sections may be a little bumpy.
It is also mandatory to tell everyone about how the trip was a life changing experience once you’re done. It is law.
There is also an elite, sometimes invite only version of the grown up trip. The Fest. This trip is not for the faint of wallet. Only the top tier entrepreneur, IT mogul and daddy’s favourite with his credit card can afford this trip. It involves insane parties and concerts with DJs and bands from around the world, food from faraway lands that are guaranteed to give you a stomach bug, free flowing booze and other ‘recreational activities’ that the Goa police aren’t going to be too happy about.
I unfortunately cannot comment further on these enigmatic trips as I’ve never been invited to one. Besides, it’s not like I can afford the tickets or hotel rates anyways. (Most people can’t, it’s nuts!).
The Couple Trip
This is one trip that everyone does end up going on, be it with a spouse, significant other or fling of the season. What happens on the trip varies widely depending on your interests, but the common factor is that it will be way too expensive.
Travel options are limited to flying or driving. Buses are completely out of the question, those are for college peasants. Trains may be considered, if only to see either the Konkan Railway or Braganza Ghat on the route into Goa (Seriously though, these are some of the most beautiful rail journeys in the country, especially during the monsoon.). The Braganza route has the added benefit of passing by Dudhsagar waterfall. Being close enough to experience the spray from the falls from the comfort of a train (Unlike those adventure club people slowly walking along the track) is something everyone should experience and most never will. Firstly, most trains cross the falls at night and getting the timing right is hard and seeing anything is even harder. Secondly, the waterfall only has falling water during the monsoon months so the chance of seeing anything at other times is low. But it’s the thought that counts.
Stay will obviously be at an expensive beach side resort for the best experiences. Bland cuisine meant to please even the most discerning international traveller, getting kneed in the back while being charged through the nose for the experience in the name of exotic spa treatments, having the joy of spending long evenings lounging by a luxurious pool full of the wealthiest screaming children. It is an experience not to be missed.
While travel as a couple can be fun, travelling with a couple is not recommended. It will more often than not just lead to a lot of drama and tears, and that’s before the fighting even starts. There is a high probability that the entire trip will be spent pacifying the two love birds than actually doing something the group wants to. The probability of drama does usually go down that longer the couple have been together but this isn’t universal. Trips with couples are to be avoided at all costs, nothing good ever comes of a Goa trip with them.
The couples trips is something I’ve done may times with my then girlfriend and now wife. We have even managed to slowly bring down costs from eye-wateringly expensive to just way too expensive. I’m hoping by next year, with a lot of thought, negotiation and luck I might be able to get it down to just expensive. (This is especially hard since I’m usually the pricey one. Now.)
Conclusion
Goa is one of the most popular tourist destinations in India for a reason. It is a lot of things for a lot of people. For me the state has been quite a few things. It’s been a getaway to celebrate the end of my Bachelor’s degree. It’s a place of significant family history (I’m Konkani, born in Kerala and living in Bangalore.) and some present family. It’s a place to relax away from the chaotic hustle and bustle of Bangalore. It’s where I first started a proper conversation with the girl who would become my wife. (A conversation about a blog I was writing at the time ironically.). It’s the food, the people, the history, the atmosphere, the greenery, the temples and so much more.
I’ve visited Goa more times than I can count and will do so many times more in the years to come. For all that the state is, the one thing it isn’t is boring.